That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
