I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
