Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
