Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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