When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
