I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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