I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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