i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
