we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
