Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
