Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
