We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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