So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize