U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
