She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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