i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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