Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
