i don't like sucking hair
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
