She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
