I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize