I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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