Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
are you so shy because you have an std?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
