Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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