I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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