He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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