you guys were way drunker than both of me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
