And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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