Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
