Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
