I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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