Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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