i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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