Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
