Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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