where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
