yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
