So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
