Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i think my cat just said my name.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
