I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i out mim tonsoeep
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
