she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
