Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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