My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
