that's an acceptable place to lick
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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