I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
