He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
