Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
nutella sex= disaster
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
