she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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