Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
