help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
