I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
