i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
