Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
