Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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