if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
