If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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