My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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