Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
