Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
