you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
