paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
