OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize